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Advice & Information » Parental Separation and Divorce

Parental Separation and Divorce

The effect of parental separation on children can be catastrophic, whether it comes ‘out of the blue’ or if there has been conflict in the home before, during and after the separation.

A family break up is like bereavement and children often find it difficult to cope with the strong emotions that arise from such a loss.

Symptoms of distress following a parental break up can include

• Anger
• Anxiety
• Aggression
• Bedwetting
• Behavioural problems
• Bullying
• Lack of concentration
• Depression
• Falling- out with friends
• Low self esteem
• Guilt (thinking it is their fault)
• Increased dependency
• Minor health problems

Boys and girls are affected equally but may show their shock and upset in different ways. Whilst teenagers may use their peers as a source of support, younger children rarely confide in their friends, seeing them as playmates rather than confidantes. It may be difficult to discuss things with their parents too, as they are so deeply involved in the situation and are probably upset themselves.

Having an independent, experienced person to talk things through with in their own language can be a great help. Counselling can provide an opportunity for the child to express unsettling feelings and develop strategies for coping with the changes in home life.

See "Daddy’s left us" for more information about how counselling and flower remedies can help a child in this situation.